there's a photo of him in the newspaper marching in the St. Patrick's Day Parade shirtless
the Canadian girlfriend he made up has relocated to San Francisco
for a few days after returning from "visiting his sick, out-of-town aunt"- he walks funny and "prefers to stand"
there's an empty gerbil cage stashed under his bed
after ordering Dominoes, he can't resist making double-entendres about the Pizza Boy delivering his "hot and spicy pepperoni"
pipe-dreaming about sex with movie starlets, his fantasy is an orgy involving Judy, Liza, and Lorna Luft
when talking baseball, he refers to Alex "A Rod" Rodriguez as "scrumptious"
he loves having a blood-engorged penis rammed repeatedly into his @sshole