OUCH! by MR.E.

OUCH! by MR.E.

Monday, December 14, 2015

WISE UP! WICKED WISDOM!

WISE UP! WICKED WISDOM!


Internet Predators- national holidays are days off for the feds and the perfect time to search the web for lolitas



Girls: sex is better than drugs as long as you have a good pusher



Police Officers: you can't arrest a cross-eyed man just because he looks crooked



Homosexual Males: while many are "born that way," others were sucked into the lifestyle



Studs: masturbation does not count as your being sexually active- even if you are doing it three times a day



Philosophical Question: if you fall out of a tree in the forest and no one's there...



Junkie Sex Maniacs: nothing takes your mind off of cold turkey better than a hot gobbler



Med Students Studying Proctology: cramming for an exam has an entirely different meaning for you



Gay Men: are allowed into Heaven (but must enter in the rear)



Psychos: if you shoot a man just to watch him die, don't do it with one eye on the television



Animal Lovers: cats wont do it "doggy style"



Wallflowers: reluctant dancers have cold feet



Cymbal playing men: never rehearse for the marching band in the nude



Pre-Wedding Jitterers: sex wont change with marriage, as long as your new spouse doesn't find out



Health Care Providers: when helping the elderly with their medicine, taking half a yellow pill and half a blue pill will not have the same effect as taking one whole green pill



Happy Birthday: it's not the thought that counts when the book you receive as a birthday gift comes with a card that reads, "Due Date June 8th, Lompoc Public Library"



Students: standardized testing in public schools does indeed offer an unfair advantage, but only to those who've studied hard and done their homework



Homicidal Cannibals: snoring too loud is no reason to eat a man



Avoid renting any movie that stars a horse (ie. Seabiscuit, Dreamer); unless, of course, its costar is a sex-starved Danish farmgirl



The smaller a woman's breasts, the more you get per pound










COPYRIGHT 2007-2015 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

No comments: