WHAT NOT TO SAY WHEN SHE CATCHES YOU STARING AT HER CHEST

WHAT NOT TO SAY WHEN SHE CATCHES YOU STARING AT HER CHEST

"Mama mia!"


"Are they real?"


"Let's play submarine; I'll be the Captain, you be the periscope."


"So, which club do you strip at?"


"Honk, honk!"


"Go back to sleep- this is just a dream."


"You'll never drown, that's for sure."


"What'd they cost you?"


"You're only my half-sister, anyway."

COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.

ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

MR.E BACK ON LINE! TONY CLIFTON! singing "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables! ANDY KAUFMAN

Brilliant TONY CLIFTON 2012 video "I DREAMED A DREAM" from LES MISERABLES

Early ANDY KAUFMAN Clifton impersonation at the New York City Improvisation in 1977

Bob Zmuda as TONY CLIFTON headlining at HARRAH'S television news report 1982

NEW POSTS EVERY:

MONDAY @ 4:20 am
FRIDAY    @ 4:20 am NIGHT AT THE MOVIES (must see feature length psychotronic cult films)

COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.

ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

2012 STONER OLYMPIC GAMES

COMPETITOR EVENT LIST:

Air Guitar & Drums


Cigarette Bumming


Devilsticks


Excuse Making (sprint)


Hackysack


Internet Auction Sniping


Movie Synopsising


Panhandling


Punctuality


Responsibility Ducking (marathon)


Stench & Pallor


Stumbling & Balance


Tic Tac Toe


Tie-dye


Unicycling


Ultimate Frisbee


Wandering (long distance)

COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.

ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

EXCUSES FOR BUYING A PORN MAG LAST FRIDAY NIGHT

EXCUSES FOR BUYING A PORN MAG LAST FRIDAY NIGHT


the short fiction by John Updike


to flirt with the cute transexual working at the cash register


you're sending it to a soldier in Iraq


two o'clock in the morning is the slow time of your day


your sister's on pages 69-73


you plan to jack off as soon as you get home


it's something to read on the airplane


to see if they printed your question about stereo speakers


you thought "Peach Fuzz" was a journal for U.S. Produce Inspectors; and "Tweety Pies and Puddy Tats" was for kids- not featured kids. (At least that's what you told the F.B.I. Agent, who found them stashed in your car trunk Monday while executing a federal search warrant obtained Sunday after you emailed a jpeg of your cock Saturday to the undercover officer you thought was a 13 year old Lolita you met online Friday.)


you were sleepwalking because of the meds


you have a big purple birthmark covering half of your face and hideous acne scars on the other half; plus, you're hunchbacked and bucktoothed


your computer's on the fritz

COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.

ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

NEVER SAY DURING SEX...

"What grade is your sister in?"


"Oh Fido, you really are man's best friend."


"By the way, I plan to break up with you after I blow my load."


"Don't tell Mommy."


"Open wide!"


"Don't worry about being late to homeroom- I can write you a hall pass."


"You kiss just like my Dad!"


"Do you wanna see if your roommate's busy?'


"Oooops!"


"This is so much better than paying for it."


"Mother always liked you best."


"What is this 'con-dom' that you speak of?"


"I know what it's called, but actually it means 'to suck.'"

COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.

ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

SHE'S TOO YOUNG FOR YOU IF...

when you first met, she came to your house to sell Girl Scout cookies

she agreed to go out with you only after you promised to give back her nose

she couldn't go with you to Las Vegas for the weekend because she had to decorate a gymnasium for a sock hop

Woody Allen thinks you’re immoral

on a date at the movies, she treated for the popcorn with money she recently received from the Tooth Fairy

while you shopped at the grocery for suds and snax, she sat in the cart

when you made a funny face after sipping skunky beer- she clapped her hands, laughed, and insisted you “do it again” for twenty or thirty more times

when making out, she stopped you from going too far by shouting: “Bad touch!”

the reason she wears no bra is not because she’s a free-spirited feminist

the rope she provided for kinky sex bondage was the same one she skips double-dutch with

she blows like she's inflating a balloon

the only thing she sucked in bed was her thumb

her birth control pills were Flintstone shaped

R. Kelly has a video of himself peeing on her older sister

NAMBLA complains you’re giving pedophiles a bad name

she's really an internet cop

COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.

ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

CONSIDERED, BUT REJECTED BLOG TITLES

All Up in My Grill


Bubble Gum & Training Bras


Conked on the Noggin


Diggy!


The Erotic Diary of Anne Frank


Flaming Bags of Dog Crap


Handicapped Parking on Lover's Lane


Hello Oprah? It's Me, God


If Hitler Had a Girlfriend- So Can You!


Inappropriately Touching Your Jailbait Stepdaughter


Jane Eyre


Je Suis Napoleon


Jungle Bunnies and Porch Monkeys


Lesbians, Lesbians, Lesbians! (the non-sexy type)


Lolita's Little Sister


More Inappropriate Touching of Your Jailbait Stepdaughter


Mr. Roger's Neighborhood Meth Lab


Nincompooped!


Non-Show Business Careers for Midgets


Not the Whole Shebang (just the dirty parts)


Nuns in Bikinis


Panties Inferno


Porn Star: The Story of an Inappropriately Touched Jailbait Stepdaughter


Proud Nubian Princess


The Strange Case of the Floozy's Cooter


Wet Dream About a Mermaid


White Women Named "Monique"


Yumpin' Yimminy!

COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.

ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.