OVER 99 WILD SPRING BREAK CO-ED GIRLS
While killing some spare time flipping through magazines at the local newsstand (two o'clock in the morning is the slow part of my day), I ran across a full page advertisement for a "hot" dvd promising "Over 99 Wild Spring Break Co-Ed Girls!"
Tantalized by the ad, I decided to spend the $7.99 for the "Older Than They Look" special issue of CROTCH it appeared in.
Quietly maneuvering through the other men in the aisle silently browsing the racks (and beavers); I avoided eye contact with the clerk, and purchased the well thumbed through magazine- along with some scratch-off lottery tickets and a bottle of cherry flavored cough syrup.
Upon waking the next day (technically, "coming to"), the dvd
still enthralled my thoughts just as much as candy and lighting fires
did when I was a child.
Four to six weeks later, after finally receiving and "watching" it (again and again)- I rested to count what I saw- the number was always the same; and after dividing by two, I arrived (no pun intended... or was it?) at one hundred girls!
"Over 99" didn't fool me into thinking there'd be thousands.
I'm told by someone who works within the advertising industry (a misleading claim when your job is to stand on street corners handing out flyers for a strip club) that this is a standard method of suggestion developed by "Madison Avenue," and underwritten, as usual, by Satan.
I consider myself to be a man of hard will and rectitude (but that's just between you and me); none the less, a similar media barrage using magazine ads, half hour infomercials, and sidewalk sandwich boards promising "Exactly 100 Wild Spring Break Co-Ed Girls" would've worked just as well.
The fact is, when you've seen one intoxicated, prone to impulsive
behavior and poor judgment co-ed girl with low self-esteem out for a
good time while on a school recess vacation bare her breasts in public
in exchange for cheap Mardi Gras beads from a stranger filming her with a
video camera- you will want to see ninety-nine more.
Vo-do-dee-do-do!
While killing some spare time flipping through magazines at the local newsstand (two o'clock in the morning is the slow part of my day), I ran across a full page advertisement for a "hot" dvd promising "Over 99 Wild Spring Break Co-Ed Girls!"
Tantalized by the ad, I decided to spend the $7.99 for the "Older Than They Look" special issue of CROTCH it appeared in.
Quietly maneuvering through the other men in the aisle silently browsing the racks (and beavers); I avoided eye contact with the clerk, and purchased the well thumbed through magazine- along with some scratch-off lottery tickets and a bottle of cherry flavored cough syrup.
Four to six weeks later, after finally receiving and "watching" it (again and again)- I rested to count what I saw- the number was always the same; and after dividing by two, I arrived (no pun intended... or was it?) at one hundred girls!
I'm told by someone who works within the advertising industry (a misleading claim when your job is to stand on street corners handing out flyers for a strip club) that this is a standard method of suggestion developed by "Madison Avenue," and underwritten, as usual, by Satan.
I consider myself to be a man of hard will and rectitude (but that's just between you and me); none the less, a similar media barrage using magazine ads, half hour infomercials, and sidewalk sandwich boards promising "Exactly 100 Wild Spring Break Co-Ed Girls" would've worked just as well.
Vo-do-dee-do-do!
COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.
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