OUCH! by MR.E.

OUCH! by MR.E.

Monday, May 26, 2014

YOU'RE LAME IF YOU HEAR YOURSELF SAYING...

"Anyhoo..."

"bling"

"bling-bling"

"bump ugly"

"bust a nut"

"...but then I'd have to kill you."

"Buy a vowel."

"carbon footprint"

"chick flick"

"co-winky-dink"

"cutie-patootie"

"diarrhea of the mouth"

"Don't go there."

"dramedy"

"Excuse you."

"Ex-squeeze me?"

"f-bomb"

"feng shui"

"frienemy"

"Get a room!"

"gi-normous"

"going apeshit"

"happy camper"

"hella-"

"hershey squirts"

"Hollywood royalty"

"hoodie"

"horn-dog"

"I can't wait to watch Nick Lachey on the Carson Daley show tonight!"

"I feel you"

"I'm going to Disneyland!"

"It's all good."

"life-partner"

"majorly"

"My bad."

"no-brainer"

"Play 'Freebird!'"*

*(Even if you're at a Lynyrd Skynyrd or Lynyrd Skynrd Tribute Band concert)**

**(Especially if it's a Lynyrd Skynrd Tribute Band concert)

"stud muffin"

"tap dat ass"

"tinkle"

"toe jam"

"Use the force."

"Wazzup my home boy-eee?"

"What e-ver."

"You are the weakest link- goodbye!"



COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

Friday, May 23, 2014

FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE: Seth MacFarlane CAVALCADE OF CARTOON COMEDY & Trey Parker and Matt Stone THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS

SETH MACFARLANE's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy is an American cartoon web series consisting of comic cartoon shorts (similar to the cutaways from Family Guy) unrelated to each other; released on MacFarlane's YouTube channel, SethComedy.


The series, which aired several episodes a month, was originally sponsored by Burger King, with videos appearing on their official channel.  The series was then sponsored by Priceline.com, and finally, Nike.  There are 50 shorts altogether.  It was the most watched YouTube channel of the week obtaining over 3 million video views only 2 days after the first episode was released.

CAVALCADE OF CARTOON COMEDY

The Spirit of Christmas is the name of two different animated short films made by TREY PARKER and MATT STONE. They are notable for being precursors to the animated series South Park. To differentiate the two, they are often referred to as Jesus vs. Frosty (1992) and Jesus vs. Santa (1995).


In 1992, Trey Parker and Matt Stone made The Spirit of Christmas (aka Jesus vs. Frosty) while they were students at the University of Colorado under the "Avenging Conscience Films" moniker. They animated the film using only construction paper, glue and a very old 8 mm film camera, and premiered it at the December 1992 student film screening. The film features four children very similar in appearance to three of the four main characters of South Park, including a character resembling Cartman but called "Kenny", a hooded boy resembling Kenny (who remains unnamed) and two other boys similar in appearance and voice to Stan and Kyle.  


In 1995, after seeing the Jesus vs. Frosty film, Fox executive Brian Graden paid Stone and Parker $2,000 to make another animated short as a video Christmas card that he could send to friends. In turn, the duo created Jesus vs. Santa.  The film reportedly had a budget of $750, with Parker and Stone keeping the remainder of their commission.  Graden initially distributed the video to eighty friends in December 1995. After months' being passed around on bootleg video and the Internet, the film caught the attention of cable network Comedy Central, which hired the pair to develop the South Park series, which premiered in August 1997.

JESUS VS FROSTY
 

JESUS VS SANTA





COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

Monday, May 19, 2014

ALL I KNOW I LEARNED FROM CARTOONS


ACME manufactures everything diabolical






















banks keep money in canvas sacks with dollar signs on them

























booze comes in bottles marked "xxx"





















poison is labeled with a skull and crossbones



























spinach makes you instantly strong




















when knocked unconscious, your eyes turn to "X's" and birds chirp and circle above your head accompanied by twinkling stars






















COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR. 
 
 

Friday, May 16, 2014

FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE: TARZOON Shame of the Jungle (1975) JOHN BELUSHI Bill Murray

Tarzoon: Shame of the Jungle (French: Tarzoon, la honte de la jungle) is a 1975 adult-oriented French/Belgian animated film directed by cartoonist Picha and Boris Szulzinger.  The film was the first foreign-animated film to receive both an X rating and wide distribution in the United States.  A sex-comedy cartoon spoof of Edgar Rice Burroughs' Tarzan the Apeman.



The voice cast is comprised of National Lampoon Radio Hour, Second City, Saturday Night Live  talents- as well as the son of M.G.M.'s Tarzan; the English script was co-written by (then lovers) Anne Beatts & Michael O'Donoghue (Mr. Mike):

Johnny Weissmuller, Jr. - Shame
Pat Bright - Queen Bazonga
Emily Prager - June
John Belushi - Craig Baker
Brian Doyle-Murray - Charles Of The Pits #1
Andrew Duncan - Charles Of The Pits #2
Christopher Guest - Chief M'Bulu / Short / Nurse
Judy Graubart - Stella Starlet
Adolph Caesar - Brutish
Guy Sorel - Cedric Addlepate
Bill Murray - Reporter
Bob Perry - Narrator
Deya Ment - Additional Voices
John Baddeley - Additional Voices







COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

Monday, May 12, 2014

DEGREES OF DIFFICULTY

purchasing your first Playboy magazine

refilling the salt shaker and pepper grinder

flossing

calling in sick

cleaning the dead bugs out of the overhead light fixtures

not looking at cleavage

folding laundry

asking someone you don't know to dance

showing your piercing to your father

returning deposit bottles when you've got cash in your pocket

getting your girlfriend to wear stockings to bed

staying awake during a Coldplay concert

changing the goldfish's water

giving mouth to mouth to a homeless bum

getting rid of your box of old Playboys




COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

Friday, May 9, 2014

FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE: ANOTHER NICE MESS (1972) Nixon & Agnew as Laurel & Hardy BOB EINSTEIN

Another Nice Mess is a 1972 comedy film written and directed by Bob Einstein (aka Super Dave Osborn), a former writer for The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. The film starred Rich Little as Richard Nixon and Herb Voland as Spiro Agnew. The film is presented in the style of a Laurel and Hardy comedy, with Nixon in the Oliver Hardy role, and Agnew in the Stan Laurel role. The film is out of print and hard to find. The film also stars Bruce Kirby, Diahn Williams, Stewart Bradley and Steve Martin (in his first film role).


When the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour was canceled by CBS in April 1969 due to political pressure, Tom Smothers walked off with a great deal of anger - and a fair bit of show business clout.  He soon funneled much of the nest egg he'd fostered during Comedy Hour's popularity into a variety of pet projects.  He and Ken Kragen formed a management company and while Tommy, understandably, became co-manager with Kragen of people like Mason Williams and Bob Einstein, they also managed singer Kenny Rogers and the hammond-organ playing pitcher of the Detroit Tigers, Denny McLain.  Tommy's next plan was to bank-roll some politically significant cinema.  Another Nice Mess was Bob Einstein's germination.  He knew Tommy would likely finance something that took on the Nixon administration.  It was a real opportunity for Einstein to enter the production side of show business and jockey himself a spot within the New Hollywood.  Smothers signed on to produce Einstein's screenplay along with Jonathan Haze.

JONATHAN HAZE

Haze was a member of Roger Corman's company of regular players. The Corman company nurtured squares turned counterculture luminaries like Peter Fonda and Jack Nicholson. As with those frequent reefer smokers, Jonathan Haze was politicized by the cultural shift in the late nineteen sixties. No longer content to simply ham it up in innocuous films like Teenage Caveman and Little Shop of Horrors, Haze invested a good chunk of his savings in the production of Another Nice Mess. The small budget of two-hundred and fifty grand allowed them to exploit an IATSE loophole that allowed low-budget filmmakers to use non-union laborers. The film was shot in four weeks, but took nine months to edit.

STEVE MARTIN & BOB EINSTEIN

The film debuted in Chicago at the start of August 1972, playing at both the Uptown and Varsity theaters.  The Hollywood Egyptian Theater and the UA Cinema Center in Westwood hosted simultaneous California debuts.  The LA Times praised Rich Little and Herb Voland for "having their Laurel and Hardy business down cold," although the reviewer complained Voland looked less like Spiro Agnew and more like Merv Griffin sidekick Arthur Treacher."  The slapstick is erratic and labored," wrote film columnist Gregg Kilday.  "The film is so harshly lit that the action looks, not entirely inappropriately, as if it takes place in a wax museum."  But the largest complaint lodged by film critics - and this is telling of the times - was that the film just wasn't political enough.

DICK & TOM SMOTHERS

The film entered general release in September reaching a mere seven theaters.  The Brookside in Kansas City blamed its empty theater on the rain, but ticket sales remained non-existent when the weather cleared.  Its screening at the Metro II in San Francisco was dismissed as "a bomb."  The film did best at the Broadway Theater in Portland where it played for nine weeks to "warm" business. The total gross was around thirty-thousand dollars. 

Bob Einstein appeared on The Dick Cavett Show to promote the film and Rich Little did likewise with Johnny Carson, but it didn't seem to help.  The film had a short-life, playing between August and October 1972.  It was never screened again.  For years there have been rumors it was buried by the Nixon administration, but Tom Smothers admits he buried it himself because, he says, "It was a terrible film."  Co-producer Jonathan Haze concluded,"Another Nice Mess was a mess."





COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

Monday, May 5, 2014

LAST DITCH BRIDES FOR THE DESPERATE

ALPHABETICALLY:

Appalachia Malnourished Waif


Atlantic City Crack Whore


Atlanta Crunk Whore


Boise B-Girl


Bronx Bombshell


Cayahoga Falls Thumbtripper


Chilacothe Hillbetty


Chicago Gunmoll


Dayton Diner Waitress


Denver Omlet


Detroit Carwash Cashier


Fairfield Faghag


Houston Mary Kay Cosmetics and Toiletries Consultant


Jersey City Skank


Kalamazoo Cunt


Kansas City Bomber


Las Vegas Chain-Smoking Slot Machine Player


Littleneck Clam


Long Beach Shrimp


Los Angeles Undocumented Housekeeper


Memphis Meth Mamma


New York City Schizophrenic Baglady


Oshkosh Beeyatch


Philadelphia Foster Home Runaway


Reno Semi-Retired Prostitute


Roswell Alien Abductee


St. Paul E-Girl


Salt Lake City Holy Roller


San Francisco She-Male


Santa Fe Lesbian


Scranton Scrag


Springfield Welfare Mother


Tampa Twerker


Triple Junction Truckstop Hooker


Tulsa Twelve-Stepper


Walla Walla Weirdo


Watertown Waterhead






























COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

Friday, May 2, 2014

FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE: I WOKE UP EARLY THE DAY I DIED (1998) Ed Wood's Last Script! All-Star Cast!



Overcoming a nurse, and dressing in her clothes, a madman escapes from Hope Sanitarium.  The world he is about to enter is crazier than anything he could have endured at the asylum.  Quintessential Wood with a modern twist - no dialogue- only atmospheric sounds, alternating bursts of laughter and screams, and a wonderful soundtrack.  With knowing homage to Hitchcock and Fellini, director Iliopulos has brought off a stunning debut feature; elevates this from 50's camp to 90's style.


Upon leaving the sanitarium, the madman goes on a crime spree that nets him a gun, a car, a fortune in stolen cash, and one dead loan office manager.  As the thief escapes the murder scene, he comes upon a forbidden cemetery as a burial, replete with bagpipe music and a bizarre ceremony employing tuning forks and strange icons, is taking place.  As the undertaker, the caretaker, and an odd assortment of mourners leave the service, the thief peers into the coffin, thinking it is a good place to hide his briefcase of ill-gotten gains.  As he strikes the tuning fork that is buried with the robe-draped skeleton, bagpipe music fills the air and throws him into convulsions.  The coffin lid slams shut, locking his money inside, as the thief is thrown into an open grave, knocking himself unconscious.  And so begins an adventure so bizarre you have to see it to believe it!


Written by Edward D. Wood.  Starring in order of appearance: Billy Zane, Tippi Hendren, Ron Perlman, Christina Ricci, Andrew McCarthy, Ann Magnuson, Bud Cort, Taylor Negron, Max perlich, Will Patton, Rain Phoenix, Summer Phoenix, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Tara Reid, John Ritter, Kathleen Robertson, Ricky Schroder, Nicollette Sheridan, Steven Webber, Abraham Benrubi, Sandra Bernhard, Karen Black, Leif Garret,t, Dana Gould, Eartha Kitt, and Conrad Brooks, Vampira (Malia Nurmi), and Ed's widow Kathy Wood!  Directed by Aris Iliopulos.


(REMOVED BY YOUTUBE)



COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.