OUCH! by MR.E.

OUCH! by MR.E.

Friday, July 25, 2014

FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE: HAIL MAFIA! (1965) Eddie Constantine


Two American hit men are dispatched to the south of France to rub out an ex-gangster suspected of ratting out the mob.  While ostensibly a vehicle for expat American actor Eddie Constantine, the story is primarily centered on the pair of killers, who are played by veteran character actors Jack Klugman and Henry Silva.  Narrative is stripped to the bone, the better to accommodate the film’s existential tone and complex characterizations.  The confrontation is staged in the rugged Camargue region of France, where the man on the run, isolated by the barren, windswept terrain, nervously awaits his executioners.  During the tough, suspenseful climax, the interplay of personal loyalties and professional responsibilities combusts with startling ferociousness.  The bleak resolution leaves the viewer as emotionally devastated as the last man left standing.

EDDIE CONSTANTINE

Eddie Constantine (born Edward Constantinowsky; October 29, 1917 – February 25, 1993) was an American actor and singer who spent his career working in Europe.  He became well known for a series of French B movies in which he played secret agent Lemmy Caution and is now best remembered for his role in Jean-Luc Godard's philosophical science fiction film Alphaville (1965).  Constantine also appeared in films by Rainer Werner Fassbinder (as himself in Beware of a Holy Whore 1971), Lars von Trier, and Mika Kaurismäki.  He continued reprising the role of Lemmy Caution well into his 70s; his final appearance as the character was in Jean-Luc Godard's Allemagne 90 neuf zéro (1991).

JACK KLUGMAN and HENRY SILVA

Director: Raoul Levy; screenplay: Jean Cau, Raoul Levy; producer: Raoul Levy; music: Hubert Rostaing; cinematography: Raoul Coutard; editing: Victoria Mercanton


Eddie Constantine (Rudy Hamburg); Henry Silva (Schaft); Jack Klugman (Phil); Elsa Martinelli (Sylvia); Micheline Presle (Daisy); Michael Lonsdale (secretary); Carl Studer (Ruidosa); Ricky Cooper (Ben); Tener Eckelberry (Hyman)




COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

Monday, July 21, 2014

iTUNES ON MY iPOD SHUFFLE

ALLAN SHERMAN Hello Mudda Hello Fadda (1963)

"Pawning My Bling-Bling for Crack Money" by Panface

They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Ha (1966) NAPOLEON XIV

"Cacophonous Screeching" by Ashlee Simpson

 RUSTY WARREN Bounce Your Boobies (1961)

"The White Album" by Jesse Jackson

I Kill People (2009) JOHN LAJOIE

"Tuba Fun" by The Blowhards

 NATIONAL LAMPOON TONY HENDRA Magical Mysery Tour Genius Is Pain (1972)

"I've Grown Accustomed to His Fist" by Monique and the Masochists

Bobby Brown (1978) FRANK ZAPPA

"Vijay Sings" by Vijay Singh

THE RITZ BROTHERS Let's Go Slumming(1937)

"Islam is or Islam Ain't My Baby" by Hassan Ben Sober

Wet Dream (1984) KIP ADOTTA

"Live at the Lompoc Lounge" by Tony Limo


COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

Friday, July 18, 2014

FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE: MST3K The HUMAN DUPLICATORS George Nader Richard Kiel MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000

 
Mystery Science Theater 3000, often abbreviated MST3K, is an American cult television comedy series created by Joel Hodgson and produced by Best Brains, Inc. The show premiered on KTMA in Minneapolis, Minnesota on November 24, 1988. It later aired on The Comedy Channel/Comedy Central for another six seasons until its cancellation in 1997. The show was then picked up by the Sci-Fi Channel and aired for another three seasons until its final cancellation in August 1999.
 

The show mainly features a man and his robot sidekicks who are imprisoned on a space station by an evil scientist and forced to watch a selection of bad movies, as part of a psychological experiment, and frequently preceded by short public-domain non-educational films. To stay sane, the man and his robots provide a running commentary on each film, making fun of its flaws, and wisecracking their way through each reel in the style of a movie-theater peanut gallery. Each film is presented with a superimposition of the man and robots' silhouettes along the bottom of the screen. The film is interspersed with skits tied into the theme of the film being watched or the episode as a whole.


Hodgson originally played the stranded man, Joel Robinson, for four and a half seasons. When Hodgson left in 1993, series head writer Michael J. Nelson replaced him as new victim Mike Nelson and continued in the role for the rest of the show's run. The robots, Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo, and Gypsy, are puppets created from a variety of household objects, manipulated and voiced by other cast members who rotated over the course of the show's run.


During its eleven years, which produced 197 episodes and one feature film, MST3K attained critical acclaim. The series won a Peabody Award in 1993, was nominated for two Emmy Awards (in the category of Outstanding Individual Achievement in Writing for a Variety or Music Program) in 1994 and 1995, and was nominated for a CableACE Award. In 2007, James Poniewozik listed Mystery Science Theater 3000 as one of Time magazine's "100 Best TV Shows of All-Time."


The Human Duplicators is an American science fiction film released in 1965 by independent company Woolner Brothers Pictures Inc.  The plot involves a giant alien named Dr. Kolos (Richard Kiel) who is dispatched to Earth from a faraway galaxy on orders to create android doppelgängers by employing the scientific services of hypnotized cyberneticist Prof. Vaughn Dornheimer (George Macready). This mission of colonization is thwarted not by the FBI agents sent to investigate but by him falling in love with the scientist's beautiful blind niece Lisa (Dolores Faith).  This film was also Hugh Beaumont's final film role before his retirement from acting.


An alien is dispatched from a faraway galaxy to take over the Earth by "duplicating" humans and creating a race of zombies resembling animated pottery in this low-budget sci-fi film.  Enjoy the opening and closing shots of the alien spacecraft resembling a Christmas tree bauble dancing in space, the faces of the "duplicated" humans shattering like a cheap vase when thrown to the floor, and the formative "duplicates" as they are cooked up in the lab in individual coffins.  The alien's heart is softened by the persevering goodness of a beautiful blind woman, deeply conflicting his motives as the film plods to its "climactic" confrontation between the humans and their counterfeit duplicates.



JOEL HODGSON (Joel Robinson)   MICHAEL J NELSON (Mike Nelson)   KEVIN MURPHY (Tom Servo; Professor Bobo)   TRACE BEAULIEU (Dr Clayton Forrester)   J ELVIS WEINSTEIN (Dr Laurence Erhardt)   FRANK CONNIFF (TV's Frank)   BILL CORBETT (Crow T Robot; Brain Guy)   MARY JO PEHL (Pearl Forrester)



COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

Monday, July 14, 2014

QUANTIFY YOUR LIFE

Remember- 38% of all percentages are made up


the number of people who, when alone with a xerox machine, photocopied their butts versus the number of people who, when alone with a xerox machine, photocopies their butt- then wiped off the glass


the number of plastic cups of cheap beer you drank in college versus the number of bottles of imported beer


the number of frozen margaritas it takes for a student nurse to go back to your place versus the number it'll take for you to go back to her fat friend's place


the number of women you've slept with versus the number of women you've told your buddies you've slept with versus the number of times you've masturbated
DOUCHEBAGS IN ED HARDY TEE-SHIRTS

the number of good deeds a boy scout must do per day versus the number of good deeds a girl scout must do*

*to realize this is to understand the difference between men and women


COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

Friday, July 11, 2014

FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE: THE MILLION EYES OF SU MURU (1967) George Nader Frankie Avalon Shirley Eaton

The Million Eyes of Su Muru is a 1967 British spy film produced by Harry Alan Towers, directed by Lindsay Shonteff and filmed at the Shaw Brothers studios in Hong Kong. It stars Frankie Avalon and George Nader, with Shirley Eaton (Jill Masterson in Goldfinger) as the titular Sumuru. It was based on a series of novels by Sax Rohmer (Fu Manchu) about a megalomaniac femme fatale. The film was released in the USA by American International Pictures on 17 May 1967.


George Nader as Agent Nick West

Frankie Avalon as Agent Tommy Carter
(with Annette Funicello)

Shirley Eaton as Su Muru

Wilfrid Hyde-White as Colonel Sir Anthony Baisbrook

Klaus Kinski as President Boong

Also Appearing:  Patti Chandler as Louise; Salli Sachse as Mikki; Ursula Rank as Erno; Krista Nell as Zoe; Maria Rohm as Helga Martin; Paul Chang as Inspector Koo; Essie Huang as Kitty; Jon Fong as Colonel Medika

And Also:  Denise Davreux; Mary Cheng; Jill Hamilton; Lisa Gray; Margaret Cheung; and Louise Lee as Sumuru Guards







COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.


Monday, July 7, 2014

FUNERAL ETIQUETTE


WHAT NOT TO BRING TO A FUNERAL:

balloons and a joy buzzer


a date


one of those crossword puzzle digest magazines


your pet chimp


Kentucky Fried Chicken


a necrophile


Rip Taylor


video recording equipment


Chinese acrobats


the deceased's doppelganger


a Voodoo Priestess from Haiti


WHAT NO FUNERAL SHOULD BE WITHOUT:

a dead body


a mirror to hold under the deceased's nose just to be sure


a coffin or urn


an old woman dressed in black and wailing at the coffin in a language other than English


an unresolved grudge


powdered sugar*


*Editor's note: MR.E. may be thinking of "funnel cakes"**


**MR.E.'s note to Editor: I was!


a sexy second cousin you can stare at while you pretend to pray


a sexy second cousin who understands that the legal definition of incest does not include cousins


a chalice of fresh lamb's blood with which to toast the deceased


a clown (you can't spell "funeral" without "fun")



WHAT NOT TO MENTION IN A EULOGY:


Instances of parental favoritism, unpaid loans, and social snubs


That once you're cleared as the number one suspect, you'll assist the police in finding the deceased's real killer


"Even though the head has yet to have been located..."


How fortunate his widow has been to have had her tennis instructor Raoul by her side during these trying days


The particular kind of pornography they found on the deceased's computer


"Though his body may turn to dust, his artificial penis will forever remain."


The deceased would want you to have his golf clubs


That you need a ride home


"Good riddance."



COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.

Friday, July 4, 2014

FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE: BROOKLYN MURDER CLUB (1967) George Nader as JERRY COTTON

Der Mörderclub von Brooklyn (Brooklyn Murder Club, 1967) a West German film shot primarily in New York City; directed by Werner Jacobs and starring GEORGE NADER as FBI Agent Jerry Cotton.  Starting in the 1960s, a series of eight films based on the Cotton novels were made, the first four in black-and-white, the last four in color.  The character of Jerry Cotton was played by American actor George Nader, and his companion Phil Decker was played by the German actor Heinz Weiss.  The film's music was composed by Peter Thomas including the "Jerry Cotton March," that also was released on a soundtrack-single.


Jerry Cotton appears in a series of crime novels by many different writers in German-speaking countries and in Finland.  The novels center around the adventures of FBI agent Jerry Cotton, which take place in and around New York City.  In 1954 the first novel appeared as no. 68: "Ich suchte den Gangster-Chef" (I Sought the Gang Boss) in the series "Bastei Kriminalroman".  The pseudonym "Jerry Cotton" was developed in 1956 and the first novella with this name on the front-page appeared with the title "Ich jagte den Diamanten-Hai" (I hunted the Diamond Shark).  In 2005 the series reached the 2500th edition, "Expenditure". Total circulation about 850 million.  A group of over 100 authors write for the magazines, sold in many kiosks and over newsagents.  Rolf Kalmuczak, who is the major author behind this name, made the TKKG series famous as Stefan Wolf.  One could summarise the motto of the series as "Crime without Sex", as women arise as characters only once in a while. Important figures of the series include, besides Cotton, his partner Phil Decker, FBI-chief John D. High, Annie Geraldo, Zeerookah, June Clark, Roby O'Hara, Myrna, Windermeere and his Smith & Wesson, a 38 Caliber Smith & Wesson Special. Jerry Cotton drives a red Jaguar E-type, built in 1966.



JERRY COTTON FILMS:
01. Mordnacht in Manhattan / Manhattan Night of Murder (1965)
02. Schüsse aus dem Geigengasten (1965)
03. Die Rechnung - eiskalt serviert (1966)
04. Um Null Uhr schnappt die Falle zu (1966)
05. Der Mörderclub von Brooklyn (1967)
06. Tod im Roten Jaguar (1968)
07. Dynamit in grüner Seide (1968)
08. Todesschüsse am Broadway (1969)


George Nader (October 19, 1921 – February 4, 2002) was an American film and television actor. He appeared in a variety of films from 1950 through 1974, including Phone Call from a Stranger (1952), Congo Crossing (1956), and The Female Animal (1957). During this period, he also did episodic television and starred in several series, including the unique NBC adventure offering, The Man and the Challenge (1959–60). However, his best-remembered role may have been as "Roy", the hero who saves the world from the clutches of "Ro-man" in the low-budget 3-D sci-fi film Robot Monster (1953).


In the mid-1950s, rumors about Nader's homosexuality began to surface. Nader's life partner was Mark Miller, who later worked as Rock Hudson's personal secretary for 13 years.  When Nader's career in Hollywood ended, he and Miller moved to Europe, where he found steady work in films.  His most notable role during this period was as FBI agent "Jerry Cotton" in a German film series where he became the number two most popular film star in Germany behind Lex Barker.




In the mid-1970s, Nader suffered an eye injury which made him particularly sensitive to the bright lights of movie sets. According to an interview with the German fanzine Splatting Image his eye injury was the result of an accident during the production of the never released movie Zigzag, when a blank pistol round exploded too early next to his eyes. Filming took place in the Philippines, and no adequate treatment was taken in time, resulting in the partial loss of his eyesight.



He inherited the interest from Rock Hudson's estate after Hudson's death from AIDS complications in 1985.  Hudson biographer Sara Davidson, described Nader, Miller, and another person as "Rock's family for most of his adult life."  Nader publicly acknowledged his sexual orientation shortly afterward.  After damage to his eye made it difficult to endure an acting career, Nader began a career as a writer of science fiction, including his 1978 novel Chrome, which centered around a love affair between two men.  According to Variety Magazine's Army Archerd, Nader had completed a book called The Perils of Paul, about the gay community in Hollywood, which he did not want published until after his death.



In 2002, a Golden Palm Star on the Palm Springs, California, Walk of Stars was dedicated to him.  Nader and Miller eventually returned to the U.S. and settled in Palm Springs.  Stricken by multiple medical problems, Nader entered the hospital in September 2001.  He died at Woodland Hills, California of cardiac-pulmonary failure, pneumonia, and multiple cerebral infarctions.  Nader and Miller spent 55 years together.  His ashes were scattered at sea, but his cenotaph exists in Cathedral City's Forest Lawn Cemetery.








COPYRIGHT 2007-2014 OH BOY! 3LAWNVIEWAGOGO / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MR.E.
ED SPRINGSTEAD, JR.